The Day I Said Goodbye to My Mom…

My typical blog posts are about fashion and style and occasionally about my family as well. I love writing about these things; I truly am passionate about them. Today however, I wanted to share something different with you; a day that I will never, ever forget.

Eight years ago today, my mom was killed by a drunk driver named Michelle McQuarter. This woman was at least 4 or 5 times intoxicated over the legal limit. August 13, 2010, she chose to leave the bar she was drinking at and get behind the wheel of her vehicle and kill my mom. My mom was riding as a passenger on a motorcycle that evening around 10pm, and on her way home from having dinner and ice cream with a friend.

My mom had called me just before she left to head home that night and I missed her call. She left a voicemail saying how she had a wonderful night with her friend and just finished having ice cream and would call me again soon. Those were the last words I heard her speak to me, and sadly I deleted that message after I listened to it. I so wish I had saved that message instead of deleting, but sadly I did not. I called her phone so many times after she had passed, just to hear her VM message.

I remember only next a very fast series of events unfolding involving police calling me, my sister, and so forth. For years after my mom passed whenever 10pm would roll around and I was in bed I had nightmares or horrible thoughts about the event playing out in my head. I constantly think about the what-ifs or the if-only circumstances but ultimately nothing can change what has happened and bring my mom back to me.

Even though 8 years have now went by, every time I see a motorcycle I can’t help but think about my mom. Every time someone phones our home after 10pm I think the worst. I look at my children and are deeply saddened for them that they don’t have her in their lives anymore. My children were 5, 4, and 1 when she was killed; she was never able to meet my son.

My mom was very involved in our lives, she visited every other weekend and brought joy to our lives every time we saw her! My children’s eyes lit up with excitement when their “Grandma Garlic” would come visit them. (Yes, that’s what they called her too, all because she had garlic drying in her home one day when we were visiting her and my oldest at the time saw it and just from then on called her Grandma Garlic)!!

She was my rock, every time I needed another woman to talk to, I could count on her. She and my father were going through a tough divorce right before she was killed, so she was definitely having a hard time herself, but when she was with my children you would never know it! It is only now, 8 years later I can actually talk about her passing without crying, even though I’ve cried while typing this. You see, the woman that killed her was also paroled this month from prison. She served 8 years for my mom’s death. I still don’t know how I feel about it, but I do know my emotions are at an all time high right now, so it’s best I don’t say anything I will regret regarding that situation.

Four years ago we spread my mom’s ashes on Charity Island. It was a small island here in Michigan that she enjoyed boating too. She told me one day a couple years before she passed that she wanted to be cremated and her ashes spread there when she died someday, my husband was also present and heard her say that. We honored her wishes and brought our close family with us to remember her that day. It was a beautiful day and even though it was unbelievably emotional, I know she wanted it that way. Below is a photo of the lighthouse and you can see where we placed some of her ashes in the second photo at the base of the lighthouse.

I am doing my best to remember my mom and all the happy moments we shared together, it’s just so hard to be strong some days, but for my children I do my best, and they know that. I’m very confident in stating that I know my mom is proud of me and looking at me from heaven and watching her grandchildren and smiling.

What I wouldn’t give to hug her again or see her again or smell her perfume again….I have saved many of her belongings such as her jewelry, dishes, and her perfume, and I cherish them. I laugh when a lifetime movie comes on because she loved that channel, lol! She also loved movie theatre popcorn, boating, and shopping!! Often she would just go to the theatre to get popcorn!! Oh and the shopping, she was addicted to it just like me. In fact we shared a lot of the same taste in style. (Below is a photo of my sister, myself and my mom on my wedding day).

As I sit here tonight typing this blog post, a post I don’t usually type about, I hope you appreciate my thoughts, because for some reason I felt compelled to share this today. The photos I shared are certainly not “blogger” quality, but were some I had that showed how dearly she loved her family and how deeply she was loved in return.

Our family will never be the same again, but I am forever grateful for the time I was able to share with my mom.

Thank you all for reading, I sincerely appreciate it! Stay tuned later in the week for a new fashion post as well, I’m sure my mom will be proud!

xo

Nicole

9 thoughts on “The Day I Said Goodbye to My Mom…

  1. I miss her too. I still have some of her Christmas letters. I regret I will never have another. I think of her often. I know how you are hurting. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Aww reading this broke my heart:( Your Mom sounds like an amazing Mom and Grandmother…beautiful person inside and out. I am sure she is always watching over you ❤️ Hugs from me! xo

  3. So proud of you for sharing your heart Nicole! You rmother would be so proud of you and Chelsea and even through such a deep loss, you both decided to live life to the fullest and keep her alive through your actions and the love for family and each other!

    1. Yes, exactly Troy! Thank you for the kind words and reading my post today! She was truly an amazing woman and I know she is proud of us!!

  4. Your mom was an amazing lady. And it shows how amazing she was in the lives of the two strong women she left behind. Until you all meet again someday trust she is always with you.

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